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katy acts out

April 20, 2010

What a bad girl, kissing girls.  Well, a girl, but still, it’s not what good girls do.  But what’s her problem, why does she act out like this?  Tsk, she was drinking.  Well, you know, liquor is a gateway drug, onto the hard stuff.
She’d never thought about being with a girl before, it’s not part of her life, her concerns, her community.  If she had ever even hung out with gay girls, she clearly would have thought about it before getting wasted one night.  So this straight girl gets fucked up and decides she wants to try a girl on for size, “her experimental game.”  Katy “gets so confused,” tries out some gay for size, does something she’s not supposed to.  Will her boyfriend mind or think his life has just become a porno come to life?
Katy Perry is a dead issue as far as i’m concerned, but there is still so much contention about her with other queers.  My understanding of the support for her and “i kissed a girl” is that some people are against a queer separatism.  The want girls to be able to kiss girls and for it to not be a thing; that gay girls don’t have to prove themselves or their queerness; that queers can have hetero romantic relationships, even primary relationships, and still be queer; that it’s fine for a girl with a boyfriend to kiss a girl, for straight girls to kiss girls.
I wouldn’t disagree with any of that.  Queers have enough to deal with without having to deal with queer policing.  I know that when i was coming out, i felt this need to shed every scrap of straightness i could.  I cut my long hair, got rid of my country hippie clothes, edited the five-year girlfriend i just broke up with to “my friend.”  I wanted to broadcast my unearthed queerness and to make sure that everyone knew i was gay as shit.  Now, at this point, i know i don’t always get read as gay.  I never, rarely, go out of my way to dress straight, but neither do i need everyone to knew for certain that i brake for dick.  I’m fairly confident in my queerness and can definitely turn it up needed.
All that is to say that i understand if people are concerned with internal policing within queer communities to monitor who’s queer/who’s not.  For myself, i experienced that in my head as a deficiency of mine, but i’m prone to internalize external pressures as my own failings.  My criticisms of this song are not the sexual fluidity or promiscuity, because i think those are both amazing.  My problem is with a self-confessed straight girl making a career off of lesbian chic.  If someone isn’t queer, they shouldn’t make a song about how outrageous they are for playing gay.
Which brings me to the less famous “ur so gay”.  Maybe i can’t talk about “kissed a girl” with any kind of authority because i’m not a girl, not a dyke or because the song is clearly not written or marketed towards me.  Maybe all that blah-blah above is meaningless and i speak out of turn.  I would still call Katy Perry a heterosexist opportunist for penning “ur so gay,” a song insulting fags in every single way she can think of.
The entire song ridicules a boy she likes and doesn’t reciprocate the way she’d like to.  To get real personal for a second, as a confused baby fag, i lost so many girl friends because we wanted different relationships.  They wanted to date, and i wanted some friends to feel comfortable around.  While straight men can be assholes to fags, straight women can be cruel when they think fags are spurning their advances.  “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf” opens this fucking song.  From there, she attacks this indie rocker for being concerned about his appearance, for being melancholy, for being weak, for not being a correct male.  All of these she clearly associates with being gay in both senses, in the “homosexual” meaning as well as the “bad” connotation.
This song is a long, hateful, homophobic rant.  As a gay, i wouldn’t ever have written something like this, not if i was ass deep in a bottle of vodka and irony were dripping out my ears.  She clearly has no position within queer communities besides colonizer.  She gets rich off of our desires and then kicks us in the teeth.  All the “anti-AIDS” bullshit marketing in the world won’t change that.

I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf
While jacking off listening to mozart
You bitch and moan about LA
Wishing you were in the rain reading Hemingway
You don’t eat meat
And drive electrical cars
You’re so indie rock it’s almost an art
You need SPF 45 just to stay alive

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

You’re so sad maybe you should buy a happy meal
You’re so skinny you should really Super Size the deal
Secretly you’re so amused
That nobody understands you
I’m so mean cause I cannot get you outta your head
I’m so angry cause you’d rather MySpace instead
I can’t believe I fell in love with someone that wears more make up than…

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like…

(BRIDGE)
You walk around like you’re oh so debonair
You pull em’ down and there’s really nothing there
I wish you would just be real with me

(CHORUS)
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
Oh no no no no no no——-
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like boys
You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like
No you don’t even like… PENIS!

    I KISSED A GIRL

    This was never the way I planned
    Not my intention
    I got so brave, drink in hand
    Lost my discretion
    It’s not what, I’m used to
    Just wanna try you on
    I’m curious for you
    Caught my attention

    No, I don’t even know your name
    It doesn’t matter
    Your my experimental game
    Just human nature
    It’s not what, good girls do
    Not how they should behave
    My head gets so confused
    Hard to obey

    Us girls we are so magical
    Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
    Hard to resist so touchable
    Too good to deny it
    Ain’t no big deal, it’s innocent

    CHORUS

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

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